Poop Wars

The never-ending battle of convincing dog owners to clean up after their pooches.

Colonel — the dog who never made you pick up his poop. — Author’s photo

Have you ever stepped in dog poop? I get it. You don’t have to tell me the stream of !0X@& that flowed from your lips.

It’s the least glamorous and most humbling part of owning a pet: bending over and picking up their poop in a small plastic bag and carrying it around until you find a garbage can. And it’s every pet owner's nightmare that you won’t have a bag handy when your dog decides to take a dump.

There’s little you can do when a dog feels the urge. I laugh at the yard markers in the neighborhood where I walk that say, “Be respectful — don’t let your dog poop here!” Like I can stop my dog from heeding nature’s call once the time is ripe.

Except for that one special pupper, Colonel, who used to only poop in vacant lots or in the ivy that surrounded our 2-acre yard. He would turn his butt toward the ivy, back into it so we never had to clean up after him. On the rare occasions when he couldn’t find a private place to poop, I saw the flash of humility and look of apology pass over his eyes.